


Strawberries, Cream, and Champagne

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angry Iggy needs some fucking cake, Comedy, Food Porn, I sold my soul to the Kink Meme Lords, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sorry Not Sorry, and some champagne, but you know when you see those sinfully amazing pictures of food and you feel kind of wrong, my Iggy is a lush, not actual porn, that's the kind of food porn I'm talking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 16:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10194134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: Kink Meme Prompt: Ignis has been having a terrible day watching out for all the bros, and when no one lifts a finger to help him clean or cook, he just bakes an entire cake for dinner and sits there in front of them, eating it slowly and with every sign of enjoyment.Oh, and just how much does Ignis enjoy everymomentof it?You havenoidea.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Strawberries, Cream, and Champagne
> 
> By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-
> 
> Kink Meme Prompt: Ignis has been having a terrible day watching out for all the bros, and when no one lifts a FINGER to help him clean or cook, he just bakes an entire cake for dinner and sits there in front of them, eating it slowly and with every sign of enjoyment.
> 
> Bonus: he somehow contrives to eat the cake sexily and everyone IS SO CONFUSED AND TURNED ON
> 
> Warnings: Food porn. Like... not porn, not real porn. Not even a kiss. Just... food porn. I describe making and eating food like I would describe sex. I feel dirty even saying that.
> 
> Author Notes: I am half-convinced that everyone on the kink meme is fucking sick of me by now. They need me to just stop, but I can't... I just keep writing, it's like my hands have a mind of their own. Sorry, FFXV fandom... you get weird things like this.

 

**Strawberries, Cream, and Champagne**

Ignis sighed and wiped his hand across his forehead, staring down at the delicate dessert in front of him. It had taken the better part of the afternoon to make, but it was perfect. Every plump strawberry slice was perfectly sliced, red liquid turning white cream pink. The lusciously thick strawberry juice trickled from the top of the cake down the sides, and Ignis reached down to the plate and slid his leather-covered finger across. He collected it, enjoying the slippery feeling against his his gloves, before pushing it between his lips.

He couldn't stop himself from moaning—just the perfect amount of sugar.

Ignis closed his eyes and savored in the taste before adjusting himself and looking once more down at the cake.

The cream was the perfect whipped consistency. He had taken his time with it, delicate and gentle like a lover opening themselves for the first time. When he had allowed his whisk to slip down, to beat against the side of the glass bowl, it reminded of his own first time. Soft hands, soft touches.

It definitely contrasted heavily with the travesty that was their hotel room. That fluffy white was exactly opposite of the way Noctis and Gladio had left their muddy shoes strewn across the entranceway and how Prompto had trekked in dirt. He hadn't even bothered to take off his shoes until he was in the bathroom.

Ignis looked at the second layer of cake and how it soaked in the juice, turning to a beautiful dusty shade of pink. He had been tender with it, taking his time to place it atop the other cake, making sure to spread the strawberries and cream between the layers.

Someone in the conjoining hotel room let out a scream and then a disjointed string of expletives, but it did not break Ignis's concentration. Not once.

Ignis turned the plate, inspecting all sides to make sure that every inch was coated and perfect, each drop of juice and spoonful of cream used with the delicate precision of a master. He was an artist, and the cake was his canvas.

His tongue would be its critic, and it was already watering in anticipation.

The strawberries he managed to find were easily some of the best money could buy outside of Insomnia—no, Duscae strawberries were Eos famous, far better quality than even Insomnia-farmed strawberries. It was in their tart yet sweet flavor, the way they grew to the size of a fist and yet just  _dripped_  when he cut into it.

He added in just the lightest touch of orange zest and vanilla to the strawberries before tossing in freshly-milled white sugar with the hint of mint. Ignis let it sit in the small fridge, having to smack away Prompto's wandering hands when the blond tried to go for them.

Noctis had been just as bad, if not worse. Ignis had caught him with a spoon and his heavy whipped cream.

He hoped that the Prince knew the only reason he still had his left hand was because Ignis was able to throw his dagger with perfect accuracy to smack into the spoon instead of a finger or two. He loved Noctis dearly, but…

No matter, Ignis thought as he dropped the bowl into the sink, noting with a touch of anger that the bowls from the midday meal he had made for the other men sat in the soapy water— untouched.

He shook his head and looked back down at his perfectly made cake.

"Hey, Iggy! What's for dinner?" Gladio yelled from the other room, and Ignis tched.

"Did you set up the table for our supper?" Ignis responded.

Another set of expletives and something crashed. Probably Prompto.

"Uh, no?" That was Noctis.

"Please do so."

"Fine, fine," Prompto yelled. "Just gimme a sec!"

Ignis sighed and looked at his cake lovingly, caressing the edge of the plate before reaching into the grocery bag of food, pulling out three Cup Noodles.

He made quick work of boiling the water, thankful that the magic he had learned to control so easily heated the metal. He opened the three containers and filled them with water, turning to look at what had become their kitchen table over the past several days.

Plates, a half-eaten bag of potato chips, open bottles of half-drunk cola and energy drinks, an assortment of electronic chargers. One of Gladio's romance novels sat dog-eared in the corner.

Ignis slapped down the three cup noodles where there was space and cleared his side of the table. He turned to return to the small kitchen when the boys trudged in.

"Hey, Iggy, no dinner?" Noctis asked.

"Your supper is on the table," Ignis replied tartly, looking for the plastic forks.

"Cup Noodles?"

"Hey, don't diss the Cup Noodles, Prom. What'd you add to them tonight?"

Ignis ruffled through the grocery bag before finding the box of cutlery. He turned and tossed them onto the table, hearing them hit the table with the thump of finality. "Nothing."

Ignis crossed his hands and looked at his three lovers, daring them to say anything.

"Uh," Prompto said after a minute, smiling eagerly as he eyed Ignis's cake. "it's okay, Iggy. You were busy making that cake, right? It looks good! I can't wait to try it. Your cakes are like  _the_  best."

Noctis scratched the back of his head. "Well, I definitely can get behind some cake—"

Ignis sent them a  _look_  which made Noctis's words die on his lips.

Ignis turned and grabbed the cake plate and a sturdy metal fork and knife and made his way to the table. He sat down in his decluttered area and placed the plate and utensils down, looking each of them in the eye.

Gladio gulped.

Good.

Ignis stared at Gladio, then down to the chair on his left. He then looked at Noctis, who took the seat on his right. Prompto took the seat across from him.

"I… I don't think we're going to be getting any cake tonight," Prompto whispered in terror as he dragged his seat backward, the sound of metal on tile making throwing the room into distorted noise.

"I believe you are quite right, Prompto," Ignis icily replied as he sat himself into his own chair and pulled off each glove, slapping them against the table top. "This is  _my_  supper."

Ignis looked at the fork and knife and prepared himself, taking them into his hands. He could feel his pulse rippling under the skin of his neck and wrists. He steadily inhaled the scent of ripened strawberries and orange before sinking his knife slowly into the cake, watching the blade sink deeper and deeper inside. A gush of pink cream and juice oozed out the side, and Ignis allowed his fork to sink into the opening.

He could almost hear the sound of the three men salivating as he lifted the fork up to his lips. He smelled the cake, enjoying the tang and the undertones of milk and vanilla. Ignis had to close his eyes as he opened his mouth and slipped the fork inside.

It was impossible to contain the sheer, unbridled sound of joy from slipping out of his mouth. The flavor was juicy and not overly sweet. The hint of mint mixed with the citrus and strawberries was divine, the texture of the cake was soft and spongy like sinking into a chocobo-down mattress.

Ignis opened his eyes and stared down at the cake, taking another forkful. He made sure to get more of the cream, happy that he had added the dollop of honey to the mixture while whipping. There was something in its warm, deep tones that made Ignis's toes curl.

Gladio made a sound when Ignis  _did_  dig his toes into the kitchen tile, but Ignis blatantly ignored the man. He didn't get to take his hard work from him. Not this time.

Ignis was careful to use the knife to cut off bigger chunks so he didn't have to dig through the strawberries, making a mess of the plate or himself. At one point he glanced at Noctis, who was sitting with his fingers gripped to his chair while staring in rapt fascination at Ignis.

Ignis dropped the tip of his fork to the plate with a clang, making the three other men at the table jump.

"Is there something wrong with the meal I have provided?" Ignis asked, pursing his lips.

"N—no. It's—it's fine," Prompto stumbled, though Ignis realized none of them had even taken off the lids to their noodles.

"Is it popular now to eat your Cup Noodles cold?" Ignis couldn't help but to click his fork on the dish, enjoying the way Gladio winced at the sound.

"Nah, Just… what are you doing, Ignis?"

Ignis took a large forkful of the moist, supple cake and held for a moment before opening his mouth as wide as he could, taking it all the way into his mouth. He moaned, throat vibrating and back arching as he closed his mouth around the fork. With a pop, he pulled the fork from his mouth, noting the there was still some cream on the tines.

After chewing for a moment and swallowing, Ignis looked Gladio dead in the eye and lifted the fork up to his mouth, letting his tongue dart from between his lips and onto the tines, licking up the entirety. He closed his eyes and relished in the sound Noctis made, the sound half between a moan and a pained cry.

"I'm eating my supper. You three should perhaps do the same."

"Iggy, no offense, but you're not eating that," Prompto whined, and Ignis opened his eyes to see Prompto had thrown himself out over the table, his arms flopping wildly in the mess of cords.

Ignis took more of the cake into his mouth, chewing slowly.

"It's more like you're fucking it."

" _Gladio_ ," Noctis groaned and pressed both hands against his eyes.

"But he's right! Ignis, seriously man, what are you  _doing_?"

Ignis rested the fork on the plate, tines down. "I am enjoying a cake that I baked today. I am enjoying a cake that I would have gladly shared... had any of you done the simple requests I made prior to leaving to shop for our last meal before returning to the road."

The entire afternoon before arriving back to the hotel Ignis had shopped. Succulent Behemoth tenderloins, perfectly round Leiden Potatoes, thick Malmashrooms with the stems still attached. The ingredients were now sitting in the small fridge, unused. Unopened.

Pitiable waste.

But the cake…

Ignis always had a soft spot for sweets.

Noctis groaned. "Shit, I forgot. Fuck, Iggy."

"Indeed." Ignis took another bite, though it wasn't as enjoyable as it had been a moment before. He rested the fork back down and stood, quickly making his way to the fridge. He made a show of opening the door and allowing the others to see what would have been the perfect meal as he grabbed the bottle of champagne from the slot on the door. He quickly uncorked the bottle and looked for a glass. Seeing that there were none, Ignis rolled his shoulders and lifted the bottle to his lips, taking a long drink.

Uncouth or not, Ignis didn't care.

He swallowed a generous amount of the champagne and looked down to the other three. They still hadn't opened their Cup Noodles.

"I see," he murmured, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and swayed forward toward the cake. There was one large, juicy and extravagant strawberry on the top, slathered with cream. He plucked it from the top and wrapped his lips around the top, nibbling slowly at it until he could easily slip the rest inside. His lips were covered in juice and he could feel the sweet liquid dribbling down lips. He allowed his tongue to trace the outline of his lips in their entirety before lifting the bottle to his mouth again for another drink.

Ignis looked to Gladio, Prompto, and Noctis, and then back down to his half-eaten cake. He could give it to them, but…

"I think I'd rather like to take a long bath," Ignis announced, grabbing the fork and stabbing it through the center of the cake. Red dribbled from the sides. Wrapping his fingers around the side of the plate he lifted it up and looked at his lovers. "It would be best if you left me to the company of my dessert."

With all the dignity of an aggrieved chamberlain of noble birth, Ignis padded across the hotel room to the bathroom, nudging the door open with his foot, then closing it with his heel.

The bath was heavenly, though Ignis certainly was affronted by Prompto's dirty boots across the floor. He threw Noctis's t-shirt over them and allowed himself to sit inside the warm bath, eating the cake until there was only a trace of crumbs while enjoying the bottle of champagne. He felt relaxed, soothed by his full stomach and the rush to his head.

When he had soaked until his fingers began to prune, Ignis dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. Not willing to put dirty clothes on, Ignis opened the door to see Prompto outside, holding up a pair of Ignis's silk pajamas.

"Uh, thought maybe you'd like them…"

Ignis took them with a nod of his head and saw that behind Prompto's head Noctis and Gladio were busy with the dishes. The shoes had been put away and someone had tried to clean the stains from the floor.

"Thank you."

Prompto shook his head. "We're sorry… we don't really do enough for you, do we?"

Ignis sighed and looked to his lover. He had rarely seen Prompto look so downtrodden. "I never said such a thing."

Noctis turned from the sink, holding onto the soapy mixing bowl. "But it's true."

Gladio nodded and made a face. "We shoulda done this without you asking us to. Sorry, Iggy."

"Me too," Noctis admitted. "We're all adults. You shouldn't have to cook or clean for us."

"I enjoy cooking and cleaning," Ignis admitted as he handed Prompto his wet towel and dressed himself, aware that the three men were looking at him. "But occasionally it would be nice if—"

"If we didn't take you for granted."

"Yes, Noctis. A simple thank you and taking off your boots before walking on the carpet would suffice." Ignis looked to Prompto, who grimaced.

"Sorry about that…"

Ignis leaned forward and ran a finger across Prompto's chin. "We can clean up the markings later; I'll show you how."

Gladio and Noctis were finished with the dishes and made their way toward him. He could tell they were not only guilty but apologetic, and Ignis accepted the three with open arms.

Gladio pulled Ignis close from the front while Prompto and Noctis hugged from the sides. The attention…. Perhaps it was the champagne or the sugar, but it felt nice to be the center of their attention for that moment.

"We'll do better," Gladio told him, and Ignis believed them.

"I would hope so; I am not sure how many calories I just consumed. I don't think doing that often will be good for my health."

The laugh that came made Ignis smile, and he allowed himself to bask in the glow from far too much cake, a bottle of champagne, and his lovers' affection.

 

**Author's Note:**

> That was the weirdest sexually explicit and yet completely chaste thing I have ever written. 
> 
> I need to go take a bath or something. Excuse me. 
> 
> Also, I know that I have been writing a lot from the kink meme lately. I really hope no one takes offense to this; I am simply enjoying myself and enjoying filling people's prompts. I know that there is sometimes anger about people who kind of spam kink memes, but I hope that the content is okay enough to not piss anyone off too badly. If I do, I am sorry.


End file.
